However Much I Smoke

However much I smoke,

I still can’t find a way

To feel as I want to feel.

However much I drink,

I can’t stop the pains from coming in

And keeping me awake.

However much I dry my eyes,

Another tears arrives

And starts the pain again

However much I disappear,

There’s another man there

Who brings me back home.

However much I want to run,

I have to stop to catch myself

Before falling on old habits